Love me.

They say hate doesn't exist but a "strong dislike" does.

I beg to differ.

Fuck with me.

I dont get "mad" EVER,

I get fucking pissed everyday.

Would you like to hear silly things?

I didn't fill out my college applications for a CSU because I was too scared of going, and i was more than capable of acceptance to a state university.

I enjoy the smell of cigarettes, is that an omen? Though, i don't smoke.

Is it fair that I'm always the 'mistress' with every boy i get involved with? Is it right that i have a miniscule enjoyment for it?

Sometimes I think of ways to runaway from home, even though my family is perfectly sane and my parents are as perfect as can be.

I want a boy whom everyone pushes away and mistrusts, the more they push and hate him, the more i want.

I think my life is terrible with great grades, confidence in boys, and a well established household.

I'm curious to see how far my rebellious mindset will take me.

No one man should have all that power.

It sucks when you realize how much power one has over you.

You should know who I am....

It's my way or the highway.

Quod me nutrit, me destruit.

I have bruises on my breasts. My hands began to quiver as i ran my fingers over the tiny purple plumps. The outcome of my nights begin to show on my skin, remenants that God doesnt think i deserve happiness or freedom. But that does not stop me from fighting more. I don't believe in God.

The Weekender's Halloween Special

I did a play. But it wasnt the play itself that made it incredible and because of that my life went down a black hole of "no senior life-ness". Mama said she should've had a tighter leash on me. She doesnt understand the concept of "tighter AND me." The tighter you pull, the farther i go. I dont mean to hurt her, or my cousin or my aunts. But...i kinda did and for that, im sorry. Would it be a lame, lifeless and emotionless excuse to say that i didnt think many people would care what time i came home to my aunts house with the smell of cigarettes in my hair, liquor stained on my tongue, a spinning mind due to weed and the sweater of the one man nobody ever wanted me near? No, I didnt think so. AND i didnt do it once, but twice. Twice in one weekend. Sorry. I am sorry for having you guys worry and cry over me. But im not sorry for what i did. If I would have known that this is how much everyone would have blown up the situation, i would have gotten drunk out of my mind and high off my ass and gone all the way with the guy. I was extremely infatuated with him, but i kept my boundaries (not wanting to- who is 19 to my 16 years of age by the way.) So, in result of my staying-out-late (for which that is the only thing they do know) I am no longer Wonder Woman for homecoming, i may get my phone taken away, i have lost all trust and respect from my parents and aunts, my cousin hates me, a sudden and unstable urge to kill myself and my surroundings, a life sentence in a bottomless pit filled with nothingness and a whole different person coming right out of it in the after math. I should have gotten pregnant.