It's hard to like every song

I listen to. I'll just stick with these guys.

Who?

Oh thats right, my name is Kayla.

I want to be Darth Vader.

Twice in a hospital bed

I'll take care of you mama.

Bianca Jagger.

"My marriage ended on my wedding day."

400 Hours

"Don't make me say something I don't want you to hear."

"Say it."

SUCK IT.

"I like you a lot."
"What do you mean?"
"I like you a lot, as a person."
----------------------
"You're very infatuated with me, right? Is that really eveyrthing?"
"At this point, I can't say no. I mean, i dont KNOW you that well."
"You mean you "can" say no? Because you totally confused me right now, (lol-that fake shit humor)"
"haha yeah, whatever means no."
"Oh haha i feel better now."

WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS THIS? HE FUCKING TOLD ME HE LIKED ME AND TOOK IT BACK LIKE A GOD DAMN RETARD.

Why do you play stupid? Why in the fuck do you act like you don't know what i'm talking about? Because WE BOTH KNOW that you're not that stupid. You know you've been unfaithful, you KNOW what you got yourself into. What did you expect? Me to hop on your lap because you think i'm hot AND you've told me that? I know exactly how YOU work, i know exactly how guys work. I'm not stupid. Next time you want to fuck (in both terms) with me, be a MAN so it'll be funnier when i show the world how pussy you are. Damn jerk.

Blaze Starr

"I'd be a slut if i said yes to every boy."

"But i'm not every boy."

"What makes you so different?"

He didnt need to explain himself. I knew the answer.

Bitches and Hoes

I believe I have somewhat of a heart

I have given up an infatuation because of the welfare of his girlfriend

Though, he was down on his knees begging to have me.

Oh lord! Would it be vain to say that my life sucks because a guy that I like is begging me to be with him even though he's had the same girlfriend for a year and i have clearly pointed that out to him?

I think not.

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

One girl may be pretty.
Two aren't.

Fear The Beard.

I found the boy that can sing the other half of my song.

He's gay.

My eyes are swelling.

I got a worry doll from Guatemala. It was supposed to suck all my worries away.

It didn't work...

at all.

Love me.

They say hate doesn't exist but a "strong dislike" does.

I beg to differ.

Fuck with me.

I dont get "mad" EVER,

I get fucking pissed everyday.

Would you like to hear silly things?

I didn't fill out my college applications for a CSU because I was too scared of going, and i was more than capable of acceptance to a state university.

I enjoy the smell of cigarettes, is that an omen? Though, i don't smoke.

Is it fair that I'm always the 'mistress' with every boy i get involved with? Is it right that i have a miniscule enjoyment for it?

Sometimes I think of ways to runaway from home, even though my family is perfectly sane and my parents are as perfect as can be.

I want a boy whom everyone pushes away and mistrusts, the more they push and hate him, the more i want.

I think my life is terrible with great grades, confidence in boys, and a well established household.

I'm curious to see how far my rebellious mindset will take me.

No one man should have all that power.

It sucks when you realize how much power one has over you.

You should know who I am....

It's my way or the highway.

Quod me nutrit, me destruit.

I have bruises on my breasts. My hands began to quiver as i ran my fingers over the tiny purple plumps. The outcome of my nights begin to show on my skin, remenants that God doesnt think i deserve happiness or freedom. But that does not stop me from fighting more. I don't believe in God.

The Weekender's Halloween Special

I did a play. But it wasnt the play itself that made it incredible and because of that my life went down a black hole of "no senior life-ness". Mama said she should've had a tighter leash on me. She doesnt understand the concept of "tighter AND me." The tighter you pull, the farther i go. I dont mean to hurt her, or my cousin or my aunts. But...i kinda did and for that, im sorry. Would it be a lame, lifeless and emotionless excuse to say that i didnt think many people would care what time i came home to my aunts house with the smell of cigarettes in my hair, liquor stained on my tongue, a spinning mind due to weed and the sweater of the one man nobody ever wanted me near? No, I didnt think so. AND i didnt do it once, but twice. Twice in one weekend. Sorry. I am sorry for having you guys worry and cry over me. But im not sorry for what i did. If I would have known that this is how much everyone would have blown up the situation, i would have gotten drunk out of my mind and high off my ass and gone all the way with the guy. I was extremely infatuated with him, but i kept my boundaries (not wanting to- who is 19 to my 16 years of age by the way.) So, in result of my staying-out-late (for which that is the only thing they do know) I am no longer Wonder Woman for homecoming, i may get my phone taken away, i have lost all trust and respect from my parents and aunts, my cousin hates me, a sudden and unstable urge to kill myself and my surroundings, a life sentence in a bottomless pit filled with nothingness and a whole different person coming right out of it in the after math. I should have gotten pregnant.

Senior Year...

First day of senior year:

I'm not sure what to say about it. No, it wasn't the greatest experience in the whole freaking world and no, it wasn't the most horrible thing EVER (kinda). It was extremely awkward in fact. I didn't like it because of that but that also made me like it as well, no need to impress people I don't know. I just need to find my rhythm to the entire thing again. That's the hardest part of all. I'm out of my comfort spot all over again.

You know? The worst thing is that you could know one person in each class but they got their set of friends they would rather hang out with in the same class. Those, my dear, are called cliques and the thing about me is that i don't really have one. I have my cousin whom i hang out with everyday but she's not a clique, she's my family. Basically, i'm hanging with my sister. Not much of a 'friend catcher' but when i do find one...Jesus. It's one after the other after the other after the other. I 'recycle friends' also. It's great to be a freaking nomad in high school. I live in a bubble of awkwardness.